After a day of sadness and self-pity, I decided to take a macro-view of what’s going on. See, like many other (amazing and sensitive) women, I tend to pick up the feelings of the folks around me. So, let’s take stock:
- I have several relatives starting a mass exodus away from an elderly matriarch who is deeply upset.
- I understand the reality that many of the things I want to do, need to do, will likely go “undone” in my lifetime. I am simply getting older and there is only so much time and energy.
- Oh yes, the leader of my country is an ignorant, unstable, unprincipled, undisciplined ass who tells people that they should celebrate that he and his cronies are coming to rape their resources (case in point: #Nambia). He is also threatening nuclear war with an equally crazy man who would consider a suicide mission a holy act.
So, I cannot do much about number one. The daughters who care for their mother are fleeing. I will remain and help.
I can do something about the second issue. I can prioritize, and choose to do things that matter. I can strategically increase my personal energy to accomplish only the meaningful stuff.
Number three strikes me as especially challenging. This terrible energy seems to be everywhere. The “big daddy” of our nation has cast a terrible spell, like a magician who knows how to capture and utilize the very ‘energy’ of outrage. His supporters are outraged (even though they “won”). His opponents are outraged by his daily displays of crazy. The media is outraged because calling him out does nothing. And while everyone is indulging in this unpleasant (yet strangely energizing) emotion, he carries on, taking all this energy… and propels his diabolical mission forward.
Want to know what that mission is? Perhaps it is simply the pillaging of resources, gaining advantage, and ‘winning’ at all costs. Capitalism for one. Greed unbounded. Ego on a crazy train to ruin for all but himself. Honestly, nothing else fits every odd act of his.
Who knows anymore? Everything he does is so “outrageous.”
New decision: he will have my outrage no longer. He’s been taking all that energy– even the energy directed at him– and uses it. He doesn’t deserve one more molecule of my energy. Dead. Stop.
So, today I start investing my energy in calm. In peace. In love and understanding and in strategic action. To do this, I must do a few things:
- Clarify my top 3 priorities
- Consciously re-work my personal outrage into serenity
- Take action on top 3
His reign will topple if we stop feeding the beast. And this beast literally eats your anger. Instead feed it fucking flowers and see what happens next. This is much, much harder than you may think…
Taking back the reins is tough work. Good luck to you if you join in. I know I’ve got much to do.