I am experiencing menopause. And also a deep gleaning of my business ventures, clients, relationships, subscriptions, and some obligations too.
And, I think these processes go together: bodily shifts and lifestyle changes. How can they not? My experience of the world happens through this vehicle. So if my body is changing, it follows that so would my experience. Surely, so too would my view on the world.
And this process has been deep, dark, and mystical. Also, confusing. Occasionally embarrassing. And also, safe. But it’s taken me awhile to get to the “safe” feeling part. The part where I know I don’t know a ton of stuff, and that still, things will still probably be okay.
Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’ve been faking the opposite of insane for years now. Time to come clean as I’ve found a decent re-frame. Mindsets are a helpful construct, so are metaphors and equivalencies.
Here’s one. I hope this is as helpful for your middle aged lady friends as it’s been for me:
Menopause = giving birth to one’s post-menopausal self.
As an oft-called “creative person,” I have had a sense of my identity tied to my “making nature.” And I love this aspect of myself. It’s nourishing, relaxing and makes me feel at home. “My” current makings include art, physical spaces, businesses, opportunities, social movements, and this blog among other things.
Until recently, I did consider children as “creative output,” because there’s something mysterious in the process of birthing children and raising them up. And, I still don’t feel I’ve made them. Seriously, I could not sequence a genome, then do all the mechanical operations to get an embryo all happily developing inside a wet sack of bags and tubes for 9 months. That’s a feat.
Instead, all I could do was scarf down bacon and watermelon and bitch about how my hips hurt, listen to Hypnobabies1 on death loop , and pressure folks to feed me more quality food. But, if we are talking bodies, at one point, the kids did show up courtesy of my lower half, Mother Nature, a bit o’ Labor, and the emotional support of many people.2
Back to describing menopause for a moment: experiencing a huge physiological shift in hormones, uterine function, body composition, and all the connected things that make up the entirety of my personage, I can’t help but notice other changes related to this process happening on many levels: including the spiritual, psychological, cognitive, and sometimes even, environmental. Some day perhaps I’ll be bold enough to talk about that part, but not now. That’s what art is for.
These are qualities I’ve found associated with this time: Endings. Grief. Non-birth. Softer body. Sharper mind. Bigger concerns. Wilder stories. Living in Natural States. Maybe even re-triggered trauma. Also: destruction of the no longer serving | culling the no longer fruitful. And this process takes place during one along-ass transition that may take YEARS.
So, to get through this time, with my more positive attributes intact, I’m re-framing it, as I’ve stated in <H2> header above. This re-frame has given me insight, and I hope, it will help you too. I’m learning so I can teach, or at least, learning so I can listen.
So, to me lately, menopause is like wishing for a big ass silent scream before birth of a next part of life. It sounds like MUTHA (yes, you can infer that it has a F bomb attached in spirit.)
While treating this time intentionally and going with the flow of the process, I’ve spoken with other women and heard their solutions. Many are medical. Some are spiritual. Others say nothing. Some just look at me with wide eyes. I get this. I welcome your thoughts. Maybe you’ve found a lovely way forward through an intense menopausal journey. I’m especially interested if you love your natural, wild self and never minded the monthly reminders you are fundamentally an animal…. and also never forgot you are intrinsically a spirit too.
