In my Buddhism practice, there is a practice statement that has been gnawing away at me. It’s phrased so benignly, but the implications have been earth-shattering for me. I wonder if understanding this one thing fully could cause awakening? I’ve just scratched the surface and it’s been transformative, and hard. Did I say hard?
This is the language: When we look outwardly, our anger, frustration, hate and resentment often seem to be caused by others. However, upon introspection, we realize that those feelings arise within us because we are caught up in the notion, “I am right.”
When we realize that nothing is inherently right or wrong and things are just different and let go of the thought, “I am right,” we will no longer have anything to get angry about or anyone to feel resentful toward. [from Jungto 1000 Day Practice]
For the record, I’ve spent a lifetime working on releasing judgement of others, and tried to build a fail-safe system into my brain that makes me seek to understand things from others’ perspective, even if I don’t like it. I also sense most good folks try their best to do this every day.
Understanding others is at the core of personal kindness and compassion.
So, I’m not so talking here about judgement quality of ‘I am right,’ like when one says ‘oranges are better than pineapples’, or ‘I was correct and they were wrong.’
I’m instead talking about ‘I am right’ notion as a core function of how our mind works.
All we can have is our own perception, history, predilections, and emotional experiences. Our unique point of view (POV) of life is at the core of how we experience ‘right.’ I am ‘this’ and everything else can ultimately only be experienced through ‘this’ lens.
Even my imagination of someone else’s choices and experiences can only occur from the foundation of my own. Same goes for everyone else’s perception too: self-centeredness is just the fact of how we perceive the world. I’ve come to know, compassion is being willing to listen, understand — and help — even though we have a different experiences.
Relationships rise and fall, and empires burn based on historical hurts, aspirations, and perspective. If no one had a unique POV, there would be nothing to overcome, nothing to do, nothing to appreciate, maybe no growth…
Compassion might not even be necessary without this infinite propagation of POVs. We’d all share the same window on the world and probably wouldn’t do wrong by others to begin with.
I feel like this letting go of “I am right” idea has implications far greater than releasing harmful judgement (but everyone should still try to release judgement). When I tested giving up my unique/right perspective of the world, I felt very un-grounded, like I had no center of “me-ness.” Who could truly overcome this “rightness”? Even Jesus had an identity: son of God. Even Buddha had a sense of who his family was, his cultural identity, and he remembered all of it after attained enlightenment. He didn’t cultivate feeling “right” in the sense of judgement, but he still had a core sense of self, and all world view came from that place. It had to come from somewhere.
So, in my little Karate Kid** kind of perspective of the world, I wonder if this one practice is kind of “the big one,” and doing it fully would yield the results of doing a thousand other little things? I don’t think I have the answer, but I do know that seeking truth behind the behind of the veil of perception is daunting and astonishing. And so, I’ll keep trying…
*Operative word is ‘trying,’ I’m sure many others are not so in love with my style. I’m probably a C+ student of life at best.
**I studied Korean Zen Sword in my 20’s, and found this amazing Korean Seon Buddhism teacher in my 50s. I have an affinity to the Korean Zen culture and teachings for sure.
