I don’t go to church, my kids don’t either. The other day I realized that even though I don’t engage with organized religion anymore, that there are many beliefs that I adopted (then tested and kept) that may have originated from my earlier days in formal religion. Helpful beliefs. Faith in things. Relief maybe.

I know we all adopt and create beliefs all the time that color our experience of the world: “those people understand me,”  “I get what I want,”  “I’m not enough,” “that is the best chocolate pie” “you have to work hard” etc. I’m hoping my kids are trying on some good ones and tossing the rest. I certainly want them to be good people, happy people, contributors.

But first, I guess, they have to be able to weather the storms of life. To make it through tough times, knowing that better days are coming. That learning and growing as a human can feel good, even when times are hard. That becoming more compassionate and kinder in adversity and avarice is it’s own reward. But what about depression and when it feels like the world is ganging up on you? Or when you are biochemically down, and even the past happy memories become  tainted by a dark veil that descended on your brain. What can get you out? What beliefs are lifelines at those times? What knowings?

I’ve been asking myself this and don’t have seminal answers, even from my tiny little psyche and overly analytical little intellect. But I have some insights. The other day I decided to make “mom church” to explore the power of beliefs as the most basic tools of life, and the results of adopting one belief over its opposite.

I taught my kids a lifeline belief for me in getting through tough spots and for living in a more balanced way.  “I am enough, exactly as I am.” You can probably imagine a life when you believe the opposite: striving, unhappiness, worry, pushiness, despair. I had to literally force this belief into myself with repetition, logic and one crazy coincidence (more about that later) in my early 30s and it has helped. This belief has gracefully changed me from a control-freak compulsive people-pleaser and obsessive compulsive do-er into a slightly more balanced, less angry and more relaxed go-with-the flow type of jubilant. I’ll take the win.

So, this  belief was shared in the context of  ‘this belief may result in certain kinds of behaviors and feelings that are pleasant. What do you think?’ I hope they explore it. Even more, I hope they explore ALL the beliefs that are surrounding them and pushing out into their eyes by the lights of tiny screens. Each one has an effect on how a person lives (if unexamined). I wonder which ones will make their lives the best? I wonder how quickly they’ll spot the dirty agendas masquerading as “this belief is true.” Goodness they’ll need to choose wisely and, more importantly, know they can choose their beliefs. Maybe that’s the one that really matters: you can choose them.

I am enough exactly as I am.