Focusing your attention on long-acting, feeling-based, style-specific questions can give you a richer and happier experience of life. What I love about this process is that anyone can design questions that get answered in the real world, not just our minds. And this feels great through process and achievement.
I don’t know about you, but my brain is pretty full of answers already. If we have a dearth of answers, there is always the Internet, or surely you know a whole bunch of well-meaning folks who can tell you what to do. That’s not what this is. This is a structure you can employ the way you like. Mechanics, if you will.
I’ve had great results with this practice, so let me share a few fundamentals below.
Here’s a simple question that always works: If I were to accept my life 100% as it is right now, what’s the next best step for me to take?
How our mind works, real quick.
If you’ve ever meditated, you know our minds need to think all the time. It’s just what mind does. And we can be more or less attached to the thoughts. That is, we can also think our thoughts are right or cool or true or whatever. This is just more thinking. Another layer.
But until you’ve let go of all thinking layers (I haven’t), a great way to find peace, freedom and direction is to train your focus by engineering longer-acting questions and reading them often.
This is an art and a science, so below is a little how-to guide with examples.
But first: no fast answers
One of the key aspects of this practice is to avoid creating questions that beget immediate answers. Because our minds try to answer questions as fast as possible, if we frame goal-based questions in a “yes” or a “no,” format, then that inquiry is done. And that is not great, because it basically just shuts of your mind’s realization machine. And the next thoughts begin. This may or may not be helpful.
Seek and you shall find – The Bible
Seek happily on purpose, um, because then you’ll be happy. – Me
Common question constructions & how they could be improved
Goal: I want to earn a million dollars.
Q: Can I earn a million dollars?
A: Yes or No.
Mind moves onto next thing.
If for instance, you are not already earning at that level, or think you can earn at that level, you may need to also practice openness by adding in a time frame, like “can I earn a million dollars this year?” It’s better, but doesn’t always beget innovative answers because answer is still yes, or no. Can’t questions are pretty much a mind stopper.
Same Goal: I want to earn a million dollars.
Q: How can I earn a million dollars this year?
A: lots and lots of standard practices based on others’ methodology.
A: do a million dollars worth of work
A: copy someone else who did it, the way they did it
In this example we are asking ‘how’ not ‘can’ which begets process answers how we actually can do this thing. However, if none of basic answers feel good or authentic, it may not be interesting enough to hang on. Still, it’s more open than a yes or no question, which means there is some room for innovation and authentic ways to shimmy in.
So what if you give your mind something enjoyable to contemplate over time? What if you design a focusing question that feels good, is self-reinforcing, and also helps you stay open to new ways to realize your goal?
I’ve found when I ask myself a self-designed question, the very asking is a pleasure and can self-reinforce. And if you can’t answer this kind of instantaneously, your subconscious will likely keep working on it even when you aren’t consciously focused. This is when surprise opportunities, synchronicities, and even “manifestations” seem to appear. This is because you are open, for a period of time and generally feeling patient about the ‘answer’ arriving.
By illustration, has there ever a time you were focused on a conundrum? Some problem that seemed it couldn’t be solved: damned if you do, damned if you don’t and all that? A conundrum is a focusing question, just a negative-evoking one. And, assuming you’ve solved it, did you ever experience THE answer popping into your head after you set it aside for a good night’s sleep, or funny movie, or talk with a friend?
That’s what happens when a question is compelling enough, long acting, and not solvable with a simple or standard answer, and you do stuff to make yourself happy. Are you ready to delve into question-crafting like an artful scientist? Here goes:
HOW TO BECOME A QUESTION DESIGNER: STEP BY STEP
1. Name a goal. Examples: a million dollars, peace of mind, insight on a situation, a new car, a great relationship, a solution to a specific problem, a vacation, etc, whatever sparks genuine desire in you.
2. Warm up by framing a why question about it. Example: “Why is having a million dollars compelling to me?”
3. Another quick warm up, where you daydream about the answer a little: “How would my life be different with a million dollars?”
Answers to 2 & 3 may come in waves of ideas, or clarify what it is about the goals that you really like, which is good. This is what you want: pleasant contemplation.
4. Now try framing a question around this goal inside a feeling-based, personal-style framework. Like:
“What are graceful, family-supporting ways I can move toward becoming a million dollar artist?”
Let’s look at the mental engineering of what this question does to your mindset and experience by taking it apart:
What…. are ways is open-ended plural, and allows for many ways. It’s is an exploratory question that can be answered by many scenarios. This part of the question creates an open-process-mindset.
… graceful ways …family-supporting ways focuses on a style of realization. In this case, graceful and with family. This style portion is where your personal preferences can be included. Calm, fun, peaceful & easy, effortless, remarkably, joyfully are ideas, but it is always best if you choose your own. Your style is unique to you. Maybe you want the process to be difficult or challenging, or include a huge obstacle just before the end? That’s okay, just be authentic. Own your style!
…. move toward engages movement, which supports your body to move (not just your brain). The question assumes action, that you’ll do something to bring your goal closer to you. It doesn’t tell you what to do precisely, but it does help create a ‘can do’ and active mindset, because it keeps your mind poised to see next step/s in sequence.
… becoming This is the most important part of the question. This is where your mindset becomes an embodied visualization. It should feel good because it includes you growing into a desired identity that you’ve really been exploring.
… million dollar artist This is the final part of the question, because it implies you have achieved the goal and you have a name you can don. The naming of your attaining self is important, because you can then enjoy that identity, or shake it off and then set your mind on your next question.
Why is it useful to keep your mind open and a designed question alive?
The real answer you want is in the real world right? The attainment of the goal exists in real world, and you have to stay open to receiving answers long enough for it to arrive. This includes you living your new mindset too. Moving matter takes a bit of time and energy, most of the time anyway. If you cultivate extended inquiry, your eyes will be open and more able to spot unique paths toward achievement or the serendipity of a chance meeting that helps you out, or a special teacher. And, you’ll have the energy – the enthusiasm – to do it.
This may not take long at all, and some folks LOVE to do this fast, but there still needs to be a practice of intention, focus, and openness established around a real desire for goals to manifest.
A Great Question
- can not be answered too quickly, but you can ask it over and over
- the nature of its answers will necessarily bring about emotional experiences you like1
- has openness to it, to allow for serendipity and flexibility in process steps
- builds in patience, or if preferred, includes an exciting-but-still-doable-to-you timeline.
- when answered fully, evokes gratitude
FOOTNOTES
This is a further exploration of a key idea to achievement of goals from an earlier post
- Unfortunately even if an open ended question makes you feel badly, your brain may still hang on it if it can’t be answered and put aside. Questions like “what is wrong with me?” or “Why did this terrible thing happen?” tend to create unpleasant or unsatisfactory answers over time. They are basically chasing diagnoses for problems, so not recommended. ↩︎
