If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know what the physical “flight or fight response” feels like. The rapid heart rate, dark, narrow vision and focused, simplified thought mark a state that forces acute awareness and demands precise action. I’ve come to think that panic anxiety is a survival mechanism; a warning about a threat within– a “danger afoot” message from our soul. In some ways major anxiety is like an auto-immune disorder, when one part of the whole attacks.
When I worried about my tendency for anxiety attacks (because of course I would worry about it), I realized I had plenty of routine thought patterns that could be classified as “attackers” including; perfectionism, unworthiness, self-criticism and judgement. Perfectionism has caused procrastination at best, and devaluation at worst. Self-criticism has caused feelings of diminished self-worth and a desire to be somehow different than I am, which if you think about it, is a denial of self. Unworthiness and judgement have caused deep pain, and a shaky sense of my place in the world. None of these thinking patterns have proven helpful, though it is easy to get fooled into thinking these destructive forces somehow make us better. Although it is wonderful to strive to improve oneself by chasing lovely visions, it is not desirable to be the victim of an “inside job.” Self acceptance and self appreciation seem to be the cure, and best dealt in daily doses.
