Hi Tas,
This morning I was in the bathroom and saw our little message chicken (you know, the one with a set of little papers with nice sayings on it?). I thought of how important messages will be your whole life.
You already know about advertisements. Growing up like I did —with a mom who is very aware of the purpose of advertising and its many ways of creating uncomfortable feelings— I hope you will hopefully not be molded by these consumer-making directives. But you are an American, a middle-class girl, who already loves her “toys and things,” so it will be very hard to see through that “Madison Ave Agenda” all the time. But I have faith in you. Keep looking at that stuff, and thinking Honey.
I think about teenagers and how affected they are by social media posts, texts and snaps and such. I worry about them, I worry about you. I know when I put up something that means something to me on social media, I watch the comments very carefully. I care. I am 48 years old. You are 7.
How will you know which messages are worth thinking about? How will you know which messages are worthy of your attention, your brain power, your emotions? Your decisions?
I hope, dear daughter, that you always know that the messages that are most important, are the ones from people who love you: me, your dad, your brother, your grandparents, your kind and true friends.
The messages that are loving, truthful, connecting and helpful, those are the real ones. This message from me right now— is and always will be— true: I love you and I have faith in you. You are a good-hearted person with many wonderful talents to offer the world. You deserve to be happy while you live your life. The hard times that will come, will pass. You are resilient. The people who love you, are the ones to listen to. You know how to take good care of yourself, and that is your most important job.
Messages, that will inevitably come, that are unkind, or destabilizing, or critical, or mocking, are best ignored. If you can’t ignore them, get some distance. If you can’t get some distance, give yourself more good messages than the icky ones coming in. If you can’t give yourself more good ones, read books about good people. If you can’t read books about good people, hang around good people. If you can’t hang around good people, do this one thing: remember me.
I l
ove you always.
Mom