I’m so tired of liberals being branded “the radical left” whenever mentioned in GOP-friendly media. 

Afterall, I’m a friggin’ middle class, middle-aged woman who simply wants my gay neighbors and people of color not to have a shit time, and I want for my tax dollars to go to health care, education and social programs. Kind of like the stuff I value in church (if I manged to get there): take care of the poor, treat others as you’d like to be treated, heal the sick, etc.

While I’m cooking my umpteenth batch of mac and cheese, you can keep calling me “radical,” but really, I just want the government to stay out of my body parts because, hell, my husband barely gets there. The feds can’t have more say than him what goes on in there, FFS. 

Yeah, my ‘radical’ self, hanging out in my mom jeans IS totally “anti-fa.” I really can’t stand fascists because they are bossy, violent and don’t care about my opinions— or my vote. And they are generally horrible to humans. Hitler was an evil asshole, right?! He’s Fa. I am totally against that. 

Once in a while, I get out there with my young kids with lukewarm hot chocolate and homemade signs to protest mean people who are cruel to immigrant kids. We make signs with gel pens, and knit caps and crap like that. Then we walk around with other nice colorful folks to say stuff like “science is real” and “don’t be a jerk”  and “black lives matter.” Crazy-pants, right?! Jeez… you should really be afraid of me— I just might radicalize you with my badly spaced block lettering!! 

 

Yeah, I think quality medical care for all is kind of awesome and am amazed we don’t have it yet. Is anyone else thinking ‘survival of the fittest’ could push most of the US into the grave?? We are kind of fat and soft… I can personally vouch for that.

Also, what’s up with people rousing up violence because of BS conspiracy theories? And who TF pushed this nutty Q-crud?? The olden-days UFO conspiracy stuff at least was fun, unless the aliens scoped your bum. Can we get back to that? I think the GOP might like it.

I like science, as you would too, if you ever tried baking a birthday cake at the wrong temp— it’s a shit show, complete with kiddos freaking out because the Paw Patrol toy got swallowed up in volcanic collapse.  

When I send my kids to school, I want them to learn how (not what) to think, and get loads of facts and SCIENCE (see above). I also want any unstable characters around the town to have gone through strenuous background checks before they can carry some nightmare caricature of a hunting gun around my town.  Seriously, is it too much to ask?? 

And when my kids give me shit for climate change, and their chance of making it into the 1%, and what all us older folks are doing for their future, I want to make sure they know I’m doing something about it. So I vote for a liberal government to support things that will help them later, and help grandma now. I also make them clean their rooms before they get to play Xbox, and tell them to be nice to people. Sorry, they might swear lots, but never at people.

Yeah… I’m a pudgy, boring, middling-in-every-way mom and decidedly liberal, waaaayyyyyy left, but if you think me radical, you may just be yourself.

 

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