This morning my daughter lied to me. Not about anything big, or even particularly important, but the lie was said, then backed up by demonstrations to “prove” its validity. A half an hour later, I saw proof to the contrary. When I puzzled over the dry toothbrush (you can guess the ‘grievous’ offense), she burst into tears, and it became clear we needed to have “the conversation.”
When I asked her why lying was a problem, and what should be done about it, she wasn’t 100% sure. So I asked her to write down three reasons why lying is a problem. Here are here answers:
So, fortunately, she does get the gist of why lying is bad: it is not good, and no one will know the truth. But her third answer really created a parenting challenge for me. I’m not surprised she would equate lying with Trump, and therefore that is “bad.” In our house, we are not fans of the orange man.
BUT… if you can lie repeatedly, and get elected to the most important job in this country— a job that can permanently change hundreds of millions of people’s flesh-and-blood lives, their livelihoods, freedoms, civil rights, pursuits of happiness, and overall safety, education and opportunity— how do I tell my kid that lying is a terrible idea long term? How do I teach a growing intellect that lying doesn’t work: that it is wrong, and will make the liar’s life terrible?
I grew up learning that “deception stops the flow of grace,” “don’t do or say anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of the newspaper,” and “people who lie have lousy lives.” This helped me develop a moral compass while I experienced my own meaningful results based on my actions and my corresponding happy (or unhappy) soul. I listened to my parents, but also made many mistakes and I watched what worked in the lives of those around me.
Is it really possible to lecture your way to good morality, when a triple-wife cheater, teenage-peeping-tom, small business stiffer, pussy grabbing/bragging, daughter-embarrassing, woman and fat-shaming, self-centered, violent-gun-bomb-threatening, truth-denier/flopper, disrespecter of ethnicity, and non-reader is elevated to this important position by people you know?
To those of you who voted for this man, *thanks* for creating a new level of parenting challenge. For those of you who are also struggling with this dilemma and have solutions that will carry not only 7-year-olds, but also 13 year-olds, 17 year-olds, 24 year-olds, who all are hopefully observing life with their eyes and ears, please let me know. I want my kids to think for themselves, and unfortunately, they are seeing real world results that immoral behaviors and hateful words and actions help you to “win,” as long as you promise some people some money, I guess, oh yeah… and “greatness.”
WTF America? #nothinggreataboutthis
*sarcasm